Thursday, December 25, 2008
My Godma

In this world, there are a few women whom i really think are really great! My mum, my late grandma, and my late godma. I grew up under their care. They really taught me alot. Like being really honest, being a nice person, being ethical etc etc...

Last sem, my godma passed away... I told myself that i will blog one post abt her, because she's really a great person! My parents both had to work, and thus she looked after me from young, and happy to say, she really loved me alot although she's only my aunt! And hmmm... i am really quite irritating to take care of... Why? cos of many many reasons, of which one is that i take 2 hrs to eat a meal... And i have to be fed, and i like to run around... So every mealtime, she will be following me around the house, and sometimes to my neighbour's place, where she will chat with her neighbour while feeding me... Btw, my cuz once commented that she almost wanted to murder me when my aunt made her feed me. No wonder i dun have much memories of my cuz feeding me... They prob run off everytime during my mealtime! Haha!!

She's really a great cook, and everytime, especially during festive seasons, she will always cook my fav food and give me extra servings of them! When ever i visit her at her place, she will always volunteer to cook something for me to eat. But i dun want to trouble her, especially when during the last few mths, she could not eat solid food due to some medical reasons. Asking her to cook, i felt, would make it more painful especially since she also loved to eat!

Being her fav (she also took care of my sis), i also got extra hongbao money! Haha!! So every year, my hongbao money will always be more than my sis!! hehe! That pretty rocks, even though the diff is only a few dollars. It juz feels gd! Haha!! And in the past, during CNY, she will bake all the goodies and they are all really nice! I used to help her with them when i was young, i remember it being quite fun, although i think i only did the really really simple stuff since the equipments were too hot and i was too young!

As a kid, i had asthma, and was not allowed to drink or eat anything cold. But, she would secretly buy me ice cream, and offer me cold drinks. I would always be delighted at such treats cos cold stuff juz rocks! Anyway not like it will do u much harm right... haha!! ya... think she really spoilt me when i was young!

I really have alot alot of fond memories of her, and she really played a pivotal role in building my character. I really thank her for that!! Because of her, i did not know a single vulgarity till i was in sec sch. Because of her, i cant really lie and i cant cheat... I wont be able to sleep for a few nights if i do... not worth it... Because of her, I am who i am today!!
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Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Recently... something really really weird happened... I had to go to this room for my project meeting in the morning... But i could not remember the room number although i booked the room (which was a very random room) the night before but did not try to remember it... ya.. not very smart... Anyway... before i switch off my com, i forgot to check again to find out which room that was so i dun need to switch on my com and can juz go direct to the room! So... as i lay in bed that morning, with 15 more mins to sleep before i really need to get up, i somehow dreamt of the room numbr in that 15 mins... And horrors of all horrors... it was the real room number... (btw there are many many rooms in my sch btw...) I think it's similar to self hypnosis, but i am not too sure... Weird..

Anyway... this really really weird guy has been smsing my hp... I think there are 2 reasons to this (since he sms total crap like "xia la, damn scared... juz got chased by 2 monkeys $%!@#%!" Reason 1: he thought this was his friend's number. Reason 2: he juz dun have friends... Maybe next time when i dun have many friends i might juz try that too... hahaha!!!

Work is piling up... sads... and i have a sudden craving for catching a movie... only thing i dun have time to watch one... and i dun have ANYONE! i can ask for a show... so sad!

Lets hope exchange to US come next year in Jan would be better, and that i meet lots of hot japs/ koreans/ asian girls or what not and have loads of fun!!!
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Saturday, September 6, 2008
random thoughts once again...

It's been a long while since i last blogged... No i dun have another blog... I simply got too lazy... hahahaha!! (ya... what's new....)

I juz realise that time really flies... As of now, i have some friends whom i have known for like 17 years?? That's pretty near to 2 decades man... sheesh... damn long... And during these years... many many things has happened... I witnessed many births, children growing up (including myself), and sadly... quite a number of deaths...

Previously, life was really about having maximum fun, eating alot of gd food, and most importantly, being carefree, only having to worry abt ur grades... How things have now changed... i still have fun, i still eat alot... but i feel a tad stress half the time... Stressed cos i know that i am not young any more, and that i will need to start work and earn my own money soon, and stressed cos i know my parents are not that young any more... So is my first aunt, and many people around me...

Soon, before i know it, i will need to not juz handle my own problems, i prob have to contribute to the house, the family, and perhaps even my own new family... It's quite scary... Today, i contributed abit to the house, although it was more of a remedy to a big problem that i caused - having a miniwaterfall, pond, and fish tank, with fish inside (which is the biggest prob) I got a new pump, i got a new sucker fish, i cleared away the dead fish (ya... one of my fish died) and after doing these few tasks, i was quite tired... haha! makes me wonder how i am gonna survive in the near future... (and makes me really wonder how my sis is gonna do so since she knows alot alot lesser than i do...)

I am prob going for an exchange... In the past, when i leave for overseas, i dun even bother to call home, and the next time that my parents hear from me is when i come back... I remember as a pri 4 kid at some 6 days camp, there were kids crying homesick on day 3 of the camp... at that point of time, i was not really able to figure out why they cried...

However, times have changed... I now send an email to let them know i am still alive and well... And i am really quite worried abt what may happen when i am away... really worried... i really hope my sis will wake up her idea and start doing her duty, but i am seriously not gonna count on that... really really hope everything will still be the same when i am back... hmmm...

On a brighter note, i think if feels quite gd to do something for the family la... at least with the new pump, my fish seems happier?? hahaha!! and now that sucker fish has tons of food to eat... in fact i was contemplating getting more sucker fish due the massive alot of algae that i really need them to clear... haha!!! shall go and check on the progress of that sucker fish tmr morning... it better do a gd job, or at least minimally stay alive, and not kill any of my other fishes... If not i may juz contemplate force feeding it by puting it into another place whereby the algae is really overflowing... haha!!!

In the meantime, i better do my readings before my profs "have me for breakfast"... tata!
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Friday, May 23, 2008
Updates!

It has been a month since i wrote here... So much so that hx thought my blog shifted again! Haha!! Alot has happened of course! My life alot of rubbish one...

First... i feel quite bad now... Cos juz now i was cabbing back. However, the taxi driver cannot accept nets, so can only use cash. I had $34.55 with me... the taxi fare came up to $35.35. So i had to borrow a dollar from my neighbour. So far so gd right? Ya... until i went to my room, then after some time i checked my wallet, and i found $10 inside.... That means that i paid $10 less!!!! I dunno if the uncle realised it. Maybe he thought that i really cannot count and really no money... Oh man... anyway, how i think of it i also feel guilty... Hiaz...

The most happening thing this whole week is prob getting back my results... Okies... this is gonna sound abit bhb... but oh wells... I wanna hide the figures but then liddat cannot feel the impact of the story... Here it goes!

I got 3.4 last sem... no thanks to shit grades, aka 2 Bs... ya... damn sian... That meant that i would have needed 4.0 (which is average grade of A) to get into Dean's List! Yups! this sounds totally crazy right... I thought so too...

And when i got a B+ for the first subject i got back... I was really quite dulan... 3.3... shit man... that meant i needed A+s... Then i got back another subject... A-... Pissed off totally... cos that meant i needed the other 3 subjects to be A+... This is crazy of course, since normally only top 5% in class gets A+s. Some profs dun even give 5%...

And then i got back the other 3 grades... All As... Actually ar... that means that i got a very gd sem gpa of 3.8 liaoz... but more was to come... My friend, while totalling up her marks, realised that my prof missed out one of the component, and thus after notifying her, we all add marks and my grade was upped from A to A+... Then, i was thinking... hiaz... no diff... Before i continue, i must stress that my grades have never been changed before... This is the very first time my grades got changed!!

Then at night, my friend called me... She said that there has been a change of marks for one of my subject, for which i had previously gotten A for... I went to check... AND I GOT AN UPGRADE AGAIN!!! A+!! before this sem, i only got 1 A+, this sem get 2... xia lah...

But then, i started to feel super pek chek... cos i missed DL by 1 grade... and seriously... it's not that hard... cos i slacked too much during sem 1... stupid Bs... :( But really roller coaster xia... soooo close... :( Hiaz!

Okies! next week is feasting time!! :)
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Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Life...

i used to think that humans will live to 100 yrs old. And that when i was 10, i thought that i had juz "used up" 1/10 of my life. Now that i am older and much wiser, i beg to differ on this.

Life is really very unpredictable. U can be alive one moment, and dead the next moment. Like what someone told me "Everyone thinks that they wont kenna fatal accident, so who's the one that kenna?".

I often spend sleepless nights thinking abt death. Not juz of my own, but also of the people around me. There will come a time whereby everyone dies, the only thing uncertain is whether this happens before or after i do.

At the same time, i wonder, how can it be so that i can die really happy? This is quite interesting... If i were to do nothing which is immoral, or foolish, i wont die a sad person. But that does not mean that i will die a happy person!! To die a happy man is alot alot harder. In fact, i have yet to figure out how to do so... The only thing i have figured out is that if i were to die now, i wont die happy.

And so... i start to ponder on how to be happy. I also used to think that a simple life would work out juz fine. Yet at the same time, i dun think i can live without my aircon and bed. So ya... so much so for a simple life... Maybe a moderate life would do juz fine?! Okie... that involves getting a moderate job, and moderate jobs are pretty stressful too... And then the question comes... How would getting a job even tie in with being happy?

In life, we really cant have everything. During Finishing Touch class, we had to make a choice: would job satisfaction to u mean a high paying job, or a job where u dun get high pay but more time on ur own? For me, that's a really hard choice... I have yet to figure that out too btw...

I dream of running away, far far away, stressfree... hmmm... but then... if i have achieved nothing in the working world, will i be happy? I have never really liked the idea of working my ass off btw...

And so... the debate goes on... on how i can be happy... Hiaz... when i will figure this out?
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Saturday, March 29, 2008
Emotions

Exams are looming, and so the urge to do anything but study is even greater than before! Not that i dun have alot of work to do on normal days... But gone are my 8-9 hours sleep. sheesh...

Recently, i rewatched the show 200 pound beauty. Ya... i think that's my 3rd time watching that show! Partly cos i quite like the song. Haha! The ending is ur pretty normal tear jerking type. And ya... i actually teared abit.. Life has been like "running to catch the train". Somehow, it's about rushing from place to place. Fast paced and stressful. There was a part, at the end that is, whereby the actress was saying that she was forgeting who she really was. And that she can no longer remember what she looked like. (Cos she went for lipo plus plastic surgery in the show)

Sometimes, i feel this is a prob that alot of us have too. We juz do this, do that... Cos we feel that this is right, that is right. This will help in learning better. This will value add to our life (or grades?) This will help us get our "perfect" job etc etc... I think u get the idea.

Actually... maybe it's juz me. But trying to follow the norm is pretty tiring... And seriously... i dun follow alot anyways. I am not anti social, but it's quite stressful sometimes, even if it is juz walking around sch. Having to say hi here and hi there. really... And then u see ppl that u know by face, but u dun or hardly talk to, and then u dunno whether to say hi or not. When u do, sometimes for me it's awkard. When u dun, it's also awkard. So how?

Btw this is juz one example. I hardly study back in JC and Sec sch days... Now that i have to keep studying... It;s damn sians... really... Ya... i am a slacker... I want to be myself... Haha! I think i really need a break. A break whereby i do like totally nothing... I hope i can last past my exams man... hiaz...
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The new age...

Nowdays... I have a major problem... No... it's not the prob that i rather surf facebook and play fluff pets then study or do project... It's an even bigger problem.

I simply cant find any one to eat lunch or dinner with. I realise that because of this, i eat subway damn often... Cos that one u can tao bao and eat on ur own elsewhere... Worse case senario, i eat biscuits and chocolates, like today. Somehow, this problem worsens every sem. Initially in sem 1, i did not have this problem at all... In fact i had prob trying to eat with everyone.

Sadly, life has became alot more busy for everyone. And ppl are more clichish. And i dun like to stick to any clich. Aka, i find myself wondering around quite often... Oh wells!! But this leads to an even bigger problem, which is that i dun even have much time to communicate and talk cock with people anymore! Life is now so focused. Project means project, finish it asap, cut down on nonsense. Class means pay attention, no more msn. And the rest of the time? Time to mug!!!! and do project!!!

There's really a lack of human communications these days. In the past, half hour phone conversations were short. Now, i dun remember having any of those half hour conversations anymore, let alone phone conversations. Occasionally, i still meet up with some ppl, but other than these special occasions, like damn hard to eat with ppl xia...

Maybe life is such that we all have to learn how to eat alone. We all have to learn how to eat facing the wall, and talking to the wall. Maybe... we have to learn that eating is eating. Quickly eat and get back to work!

Such is life, isnt it? Theory or evolution. Humans evolving to become robots... Oh wells! And when i start working, it's juz gona be worse! Muahaha! :(
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