Saturday, March 29, 2008
Emotions

Exams are looming, and so the urge to do anything but study is even greater than before! Not that i dun have alot of work to do on normal days... But gone are my 8-9 hours sleep. sheesh...

Recently, i rewatched the show 200 pound beauty. Ya... i think that's my 3rd time watching that show! Partly cos i quite like the song. Haha! The ending is ur pretty normal tear jerking type. And ya... i actually teared abit.. Life has been like "running to catch the train". Somehow, it's about rushing from place to place. Fast paced and stressful. There was a part, at the end that is, whereby the actress was saying that she was forgeting who she really was. And that she can no longer remember what she looked like. (Cos she went for lipo plus plastic surgery in the show)

Sometimes, i feel this is a prob that alot of us have too. We juz do this, do that... Cos we feel that this is right, that is right. This will help in learning better. This will value add to our life (or grades?) This will help us get our "perfect" job etc etc... I think u get the idea.

Actually... maybe it's juz me. But trying to follow the norm is pretty tiring... And seriously... i dun follow alot anyways. I am not anti social, but it's quite stressful sometimes, even if it is juz walking around sch. Having to say hi here and hi there. really... And then u see ppl that u know by face, but u dun or hardly talk to, and then u dunno whether to say hi or not. When u do, sometimes for me it's awkard. When u dun, it's also awkard. So how?

Btw this is juz one example. I hardly study back in JC and Sec sch days... Now that i have to keep studying... It;s damn sians... really... Ya... i am a slacker... I want to be myself... Haha! I think i really need a break. A break whereby i do like totally nothing... I hope i can last past my exams man... hiaz...
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The new age...

Nowdays... I have a major problem... No... it's not the prob that i rather surf facebook and play fluff pets then study or do project... It's an even bigger problem.

I simply cant find any one to eat lunch or dinner with. I realise that because of this, i eat subway damn often... Cos that one u can tao bao and eat on ur own elsewhere... Worse case senario, i eat biscuits and chocolates, like today. Somehow, this problem worsens every sem. Initially in sem 1, i did not have this problem at all... In fact i had prob trying to eat with everyone.

Sadly, life has became alot more busy for everyone. And ppl are more clichish. And i dun like to stick to any clich. Aka, i find myself wondering around quite often... Oh wells!! But this leads to an even bigger problem, which is that i dun even have much time to communicate and talk cock with people anymore! Life is now so focused. Project means project, finish it asap, cut down on nonsense. Class means pay attention, no more msn. And the rest of the time? Time to mug!!!! and do project!!!

There's really a lack of human communications these days. In the past, half hour phone conversations were short. Now, i dun remember having any of those half hour conversations anymore, let alone phone conversations. Occasionally, i still meet up with some ppl, but other than these special occasions, like damn hard to eat with ppl xia...

Maybe life is such that we all have to learn how to eat alone. We all have to learn how to eat facing the wall, and talking to the wall. Maybe... we have to learn that eating is eating. Quickly eat and get back to work!

Such is life, isnt it? Theory or evolution. Humans evolving to become robots... Oh wells! And when i start working, it's juz gona be worse! Muahaha! :(
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Sunday, March 16, 2008
A quick post! - Week 10

I am barely surviving... With 9 projects in total this sem, and 5 to handle presently, things are really hectic! Thankfully all my CCA commitments have come to an end. More time to do projects!!!

After 7 months in Frisbee... Hmm.... i still cant throw well... Although definately better than when i first started out. Somehow, i think my best throws were in Week 6. Somehow... Sheesh... I dun really have talent to start with, and hmm... am not making any effort to chat around. Haha!! Really really quiet and non-interactive most of the time. Hey u cant blame an introvert for doing so right?!

And yups, i think i still miss te old days at DB. Somehow it juz feels better... Maybe cos i had alot more ppl to talk to, and also cos i was really part of the team! Oh wells! Recently had a really short chat with Lao Shi, and he commented that i was a fast learner (Yups! haha! prob cos i am smart? hahah!!), but that my thrasehold of pain is quite low, plus i am not strong enough... Haha! oh wells! hmmm... ya... maybe i am abit nua...

While surfing facebook, looking at my own photos today, i suddenly felt damn sad... It has really been a long time since i was really happy and crazy... erhm... haha! crazily happy? I kinda miss days where there's no work to be done, days when i am half drunk and am with some friends laughing our hearts out. Or the days with overnight mahjong or movie marathons (although i always sleep during these marathons.) I really miss having alot of fun man!!! Somehow life is damn boring and sad... I think i am really becoming a very very boring person... Haha!! Boring and sad and dull and unhappening... I NEED TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN!!!

Then again, i also dunno how to be really happy and have lots of fun. Haha!!! I dunno how to make myself laugh like there's no tmr. As if there are no more worries, no more pain, no more sadness in the world... Okie, that dun sound too possible... Bottomline is... I need to have more fun and be more merry.

Sch life is really more like shit life right now. Internship is starting. 2 weeks to play... And the shittiest thing is that during that those 2 weeks i have to play, the NUS/NTU ppl still having exams. Aka i am gonna be all alone... Shit. HIAZ!!! HOW!!!!!!! :(

Nvm... shall go watch tv and dramas and rot at home :Z (Haha!! u gonna believe that?! Right... Sorry guys, especially Mr Sch dropout, u dun have to study one right? hahaha!!! And the rest of u all too... Chill man! it's only the exams! hahaha!! Whatever!)
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